Friday, Feb 16, 2007
देखा जो तुमको मैने - कविता - तुषार जोशी नागपुर
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इस कविता को आप http://merekavimitra.blogspot.com/2007/02/blog-post_17.html यहाँ पढ़ सकते हैं।
Posted by Tushar Joshi at 11:36 PM | 1 comments
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Tushar Joshi
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namaste,
bhaavon ko aapne ghazal kee shailee mein baandhaa hai ...
bhaavon ke prastutikarNa ke sandarbh mein prastut rachnaa uttam ban paDee hai..
saath hee, maatraaon ke prati aapkee anyamanasktaa bhee spashTa deekhtee hai.
kshmaaprarthee hoon, aakhree (paanchve) ashaar kee dusaree panktee kuchh vishesh spashTa naheen ho paayee..
vastutaH is ghazal ke bhaav-nirupaNa mein baat yah nikal kar aa rahee hai ki 'unkee' paraspar pratikriyaaon ke pashchaat jeevan mein ghaTit pratyeka pal kaa artha badalaa-badlaa sa lagtaa hai ... yadi aisaa hee hai to is lihaaj se prastut pankti mein 'comma' ka sthaan anarthkaaree ho gayaa hai.
'comma' ko 'bhar gaye zakhma yuun..' ke Theek baad aanaa chaahiye.
yaa, wah pankti .. 'lage bhare se zakhma, tumhaaraa chuumanaa lage hai suhaanaa..' ho jaaye to shreyaskar ..
ye meree pratikriyaa maatra hai .. meree samajhne mein dosh lage to suuchit karenge. astu.
(aapkaa hi ek ORKUT mitra)
Saurabh Pandey
e-mail: saurabh312@gmail.com